kadeshua

Disturbing dreams

2009-08-09T17:15:16Z

Every once in a while i have vivid dreams that really effect me when i wake up. Last night i had a dream about a hit on a public figure. Don't want to say the name out of fear but is a male in a powerful position. I have never had graphic dreams about blood until now, it was very detailed to say the least. I saw about 10 people shot, most of which were children. Everyone was executed but the public figure lived. He ran down a hill to a mountain and was persued by a perpetrator. He climbed up the mountain which was a pyramid and made it to the top and was able to kill the perpetrator who was at the base by shooting (i think) and then throwing a large rock or something down at a direct hit to the skull.

The dream up till this point was like i was seeing it happen as if I were watching it but not physically there. At this point I became a character in the dream which turned into another plot. Myself and a group of other people whom I don't know personally but were part of a masonic order, were being rounded up and chased through a mountain full of weird caverns. After what seemed like hours of being persued I got a hold of jeeplike vehicle and drove off with three other individuals to freedom down Broadway St. KCMO.

I woke up totally disoriented and disturbed. I'm in pain and I think i need my wisdom teeth pulled. Uuuugh.

Plumbing vs. wii

2009-01-03T06:16:37Z

So we are still w/o plumbing. Today we tore out the wall under the kitchen sink and figured out it is our drain that is leaking. We called a plumber for an estimate - $308.00. It will require a sawza?? and cutting a piece of old rusty iron pipe out. Instead of paying the plumber we put a 10 gallon bucket under the drain to catch the wastewater and I bought a wii instead. I must be crazy. Well, it IS the first video game system I have ever bought for myself. Who needs plumbing anyway.

Tis' the Season

2008-12-22T00:23:31Z

Our kitchen pipes burst and now we have no running water in our kitchen, it's not the worst thing that could happen but it is very inconvenient. We bought a slew of paper and plastic ware to get through. Hopefully after the cold breaks we can fix it ourselves, otherwise a plumber is going to be at least $500. Christmas is going to have to involve food that doesn't have to be cooked in pans.

Actually, I am praying for snow and ice storms on Christmas so I don't have to go see my family, I know it's horrible, but I would rather stay at home and watch TV and sip wine. Yahoo says it will be back up to 47°, so not likely. Getting sick of all the Jesus documentaries although they always do good to mention the Knights Templar and John the Baptist.

I am ready for the Year of the Rat to end. It seems to be a general consensus among people I know. This just hasn't been the best year for a lot of people. I eat my words, because I voted for Hillary and was upset that she didn't win. Now I am glad that Obama won and I really think that he is going to do an outstanding job, probably better than she would have done. I admire his cabinet selections and the fact that he supports Union's being that I am member of the Union at work myself. Also the fact that he is a strong believer in science, stem cell research, environmentalism, and renewable energy.

After Tuesday I am on vacation until January 5th. The last good thing George Bush did for me while in office was to give me the day after Christmas off - paid.

Wishing all my Brothers and Sisters and friends a Merry Solstice.

Shopping at World Market

2008-12-17T03:21:32Z

So - I was doing the dreaded X-Mas shopping the other day and what did I hear to my dismay, why it was the Smithereens doing Christmas songs, it sounded so gay.

What happened? Getting old sucks.

bomb threat

2008-09-25T02:17:07Z

so today at work someone dropped off a suspicious package in front of the bldg i work in and called in a threat . The police showed up and blocked off Pershing and the robot went up to the briefcase and shot it and bright colored confettie shot out everywhere. Oh the excitement of working for the IRS!

CERN Sets Dates for Experiments

2008-08-26T02:21:09Z

Check out CERN's new Rap Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAvipnDS8yE

GENEVA (Reuters) - Tests have cleared the way for the start-up next month of an experiment to restage a mini-version underground of the "Big Bang" which created the universe 15 billion years ago, the project chief said on Monday.

Lyn Evans of the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) said weekend trials in the vast underground LHC machine in which the particle-smashing experiment will take place over the coming months and years "went without a hitch."

"We look forward to a resounding success when we make our first attempt to send a beam all the way round the LHC," said Evans, who heads the multinational team of scientists that shaped the project and the machine, the Large Hadron Collider.

The final tests involved pumping a single bunch of energy particles from the project's accelerator into the 27-km (17-mile) beam pipe of the collider and steering them counter- clockwise around it for about 3 kms (2 miles).

Earlier in the month a clockwise trial in the LHC -- which runs deep under French and Swiss territory between the Jura mountains and Lake Geneva -- had been equally successful, CERN said.

The LHC team now plans to send a full particle beam all the way around the collider pipe in one direction on September 10 as a prelude to sending beams in both directions and smashing them together later in the year.

That collision, in which both particle clusters will be traveling at the speed of light, will be monitored on computers at CERN and laboratories around the world by scientists looking for, among other things, a particle that made life possible.

The elusive particle, which has been dubbed the "Higgs boson" after Scottish physicist Peter Higgs who first postulated nearly 50 years ago that it must exist, is thought to be the mysterious factor that holds matter together.

Recreating a "Big Bang," which most scientists believe is the only explanation of an expanding universe, ought to show how stars and planets came together out of the primeval chaos that followed, the CERN team believes.

Efforts to track it down in a predecessor to the LHC at CERN, and in another experiment in the United States, failed. But scientists are confident that the vast leap in technologies represented by the LHC will make the difference.

Higgs, a 79-year-old Edinburgh University professor who as an atheist angrily rejects the idea of calling the boson the "God particle" -- believes it will show up very quickly once the beams are colliding in the LHC.

"If it doesn't," he said during a visit to CERN earlier this year, "I shall be very, very puzzled."

(Editing by Jonathan Lynn and Mary Gabriel)

from http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080825/sc_nm/science_cern_dc

Perseids

2008-08-12T23:17:36Z

Don't forget tonight is the height of the Perseids Meteor Shower, about 1-2 every minute

kadeshua @ 2008-07-27T14:05:00

2008-07-27T19:08:52Z

Ever wonder what a Buddhist service is like? Kansas City is blessed to hold a Buddhist temple which practices Tibetan Buddhism. Sunday service is a beautiful thing to behold, even for someone who is not religious. It is an experience just to take in the imagery. As you sit in the temple you face East toward an altar that takes up much of the Eastern side of the room. It is adorned with images and statues of the Buddhas, the Dalia Lama, offerings of every kind, and various objects used for ritual. The room contains prayer flags and every wall adorns rows of thankas which are artistic representations of various deities.

Today they had live musicians for the service, a guitar player and a musical instrument, have no idea what it is called. It is the instrument in which you bang two sticks with balls at the end onto a row of metal pieces like in that one Violent Femmes song. It was huge though, on a floor stand and several feet long. The Tibetan horns sound and the 3 precepters enter. The candles and incense are lit. You basically recite different things such as refuge, supplications to Buddha, Manjushri (bodhisattva of wisdom), Maitreya (future Buddha), Tara (Mother of all Buddhas of the three times), and several mantras and meditation. It may seem kinda strange but I like it.

They have also incorporated Tonglen practice into the service. It is a healing visualization in which you relieve suffering from yourself, friends, loved ones, and even enemies. Enemies because ignorance is one of the three poisons and Buddhist pray that all beings be liberated. Instead of in with the good out with the bad, it is in with the bad out with the good. You visualize breathing in pain and suffering and transmuting it into good and light as you breath out.

Ya, there a lot of great things about Buddhism. A friend of mine once said fuck Buddhism, it’s so depressing because all they talk about is pain and suffering. It may be so but it is so enlightening to me because it teaches you the path to end suffering and pain. The basic and most simple act to relieve suffering is through compassion and generosity.

I know it’s kind of hard to live like that in a world full of asswholes, land sharks, and diseased minds who constantly toil and cause trouble for you or for the world at large. It is a battle everyday. But I guess I refuse to have such a bleak outlook on life anymore. I am through with my angst of youth and ready to find richer meaning in this life. I refuse to be a part of what I see is wrong with the world anymore and focus on what I would like to see in the world. Anyway… that was my exciting Sunday morning with insights.

Fire Department Destroys Fire Show

2008-07-24T21:31:19Z

I was working the door last night at Chakra for the Fringe Festival "The Alley Cat Revue" burlesque from St. Lois and the KC Fire Marshall barged in the door and said if there was flame in the house they would shut the place down. The Revue has fire performance and apparently you must have a permit for open flame in KC and someone from the Dept. must be present, this includes cigarettes and lighters, pretty crazy being that i have seen fire performances in several bars around the city, and not one of them had the Fire Dept. there or a permit. According to the Marshall a bar could lose it's license over this. So the KC Fire Dept. has formally destroyed art, well, not that burlesque is really true art anyway, but it sucked for everyone involved.

There are a lot of good shows going on, most are traveling artists. I think the shows are a little pricey myself, but it's great that KC is doing this kind of stuff plus you can work the shows and get free tickets. The Christians tried to get Hallmark to pull their funding because of some Jesus skit, but they held their commitment, yaay. If anyone is interested in going to see a show i have a few tickets. I hear the puppet porn is pretty good.

KC Fringe Festival, support the arts, help voluteer for free shows and drinks

2008-07-22T03:06:00Z

Come support the arts scene in KC Crossroads and West Bottoms

Tues July 22 - Sunday July 27

www.kcfringe.org

Burlesque, art, theatre, dance, spoken word, film, improv, music

shows every night

If you want to volunteer you can earn free tickets and drinks.

I need help on Tuesday and Wed. night. I am House Manager at The Foundation on Tues and Karma on Wed. and am in serious need of a partner 6:00 pm to 11:00 pm. Wed. is Burlesque from St. Louis, great performance not to be missed in the Bottoms.

E-mail me for details if interested or show up at the old Dixie Bell Warehouse Complex Tues. night at 7:00 pm 1915 Main for details

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

2008-07-14T02:31:29Z

Too tired of being depressed and bored. Too lazy to make it to Sunday Yoga, after it was so generously changed from the annoying way too early Saturnday routine. It changes to afternoon Sunday and yet I still can’t manage to make it. I have been failing at most every mark and a glutton for punishment after years of dedicated practice and daily routine in all my studies. I must change my process codes. No, not something about a Process ideation from the 90’s.

“Design and programming are human activities, forget that and all is lost” Bjarne Stroustrup

I am in the process of stagnation. I threw the I-Ching yesterday and I received hexagram 41which is called “Decline”, oh so depressing and fitting of my current situation. I find depression and boredom unacceptable and I am doing everything in my power to battle this disease. The I-Ching states “the decrease is in accordance with forces of the cosmos and therefore perfectly natural and completely unavoidable. Accept the Decline and respond appropriately by simplifying your life” Great words of wisdom, because as soon as I accepted the circumstances of my current situation, I was somehow released from it’s hold upon my soul.

I-Ching 41 was a changing hexagram to number 18 “Repair” All things have built-in weak points, places that decay and eventually collapse. This is especially visible in human affairs” The I-Ching real or unreal, always gives me the best advise, exactly what I need to hear. Call me a Fool.

We as humans don’t always experience the good, we have to have the bad, we have to experience the dark night of the soul in order to stagnate and be reborn. It is a process that is unavoidable. The ebb and flow of nature.

An external approach to inner development can be compared to yoga practices. By adapting certain physical postures of balance and discipline, a resonant chord is struck in the spirit. Such an alignment between the internal and the external creates a more sensitive consciousness, a certain enlightened awareness, and an overall healthy atmosphere.

I am a hopeless romantic, call it a flaw or call it a strength. By love alone is life worthwhile. I only want to experience love free from pain, but yet you can’t have one without the other. It is the balance of opposites, the magic we so wish to control yet sometimes it is out of our hands. Acceptance and change is key in accordance with the Will. Learn to love or vow to hate.

kadeshua @ 2008-07-06T15:36:00

2008-07-06T21:10:38Z

I would like to thank the following for ruining my week vacation:

1. My ex - For dumping me after i graciously accepted him back
2. Lisa Let
3. Co-Dependency
4. Bi-Polar disorder
5. The Weather for knocking out my electricity for two days
6. Time Warner - no phone service for two days
7. Time Warner - no cable until July 15th
8. A local hangout, who i won't name, for giving me a mild case of food poisoning.

I am working diligently to exercise these problems from my life, please join me in a round of prayer.

Thanks to my friends for being the wonderful people you are and listening to my bullshit.

Thank you alcohol, you have always been there for me no matter what.

4th of July

2008-07-04T08:37:56Z

Anyone interested in speding the evening in the woods is welcome to contact me. My friend Marc and myself will be going to Camp Gaea to look at Jupiter amongst other phenomena through his telescope, weather permitting.

Peter Murphy

2008-06-17T16:05:32Z

My image of Mr. Murphy has been stained. Our seats were up close and side stage. It was way too close, i got to see his bald spot for the entire show and thats all i can think about now. Oh Peter, please shave that crazy head of yours. My insane date jumped the backstage gate and rushed up on stage and jumped up and down on Peter and then didn't even kicked out of the club.

It AL begins with an idea

2008-05-30T06:25:54Z

You CAN enjoy being a part of civilization

Memetics: is the study of ideas and concepts viewed as "living" organisms, capable of reproduction and evolution in an "Ideosphere" (similar to the Biosphere) consisting of the collective of human minds. Memes reproduce by spreading to new hosts, who will spread them further.

Paranoid Rant #101

2008-05-11T16:08:44Z

So, has anyone but me noticed that the new money has a strange odor, in particular the $20 bills? The other day I had a delusion that the masses were being poisoned through the money supply.

Baptism

2008-05-02T00:31:21Z

As a super cool house warming gift llya brought sad kittie.

He is much happier now that he has been bathed in the Blood of the Beast

How Liber E helped me stay out of jail

2008-04-20T18:40:12Z

I had a lovely Saturnday out at Camp Gaea, it was a beautiful day and an enchanting evening in honor of Earth Day and also a birthday celebration for Robert who decided to come to his own party at the last minute. I spent many hours before a giant fire basking in the purifying smoke and flame. The Fire Clan really puts on a great fireworks show. I began drinking around 2pm and by 2am the drumming died down and i gave myself an hour break and drove home. I was pulled over in some small ass po dunk town and given the hole nine yard sobriety check. If i hadn't been practing yoga for the past several months i don't think i would have ever been able to pass the balance tests. Now i am not by any means justifying drinking and driving as it is a terrible thing to do but damn, yoga really saved my ass. Double hooray for Liber E - Asana - Ibis position which i have been practicing diligently!!!

Anyone bored?

2008-04-17T21:34:34Z

So my ex husband just purchased me a stun gun and mace, anyone want to come over and play?

Misanthropy

2008-04-16T21:55:43Z

As my alarm sounded at 4:40 A.M. this morning i was in the thick of a bad dream. I was screaming at someone at the top of my lungs "I have lost my faith in humanity, I hate human beings!"

I try so hard to be positive but life circumstances and especially other humans always seem to have that extra edge over me. It is a daily battle, and misanthropy is my weakness.

Misanthropy is a general dislike, distrust, or hatred of the human species, or a disposition to dislike and/or distrust other people. The term is also applicable to those who self-exile themselves or become loners because of the aforementioned feelings. The word comes from the Greek words μίσος ("hatred") and άνθρωπος ("man, human being"). A misanthrope or misanthropist is a person who dislikes or distrusts humanity as a general rule. -Wikipedia

I have however been trying to adopt Buddhist philosophy of compassion in order to nurture feelings of general well being in an attempt to fight this horrid plague of my mind. But yet it assails me on a daily basis. I began sponsoring a Tibetan refuge who lives in Dharmasala last year, but now i am too poor to do such a wonderful act. I try to give as much of my time and effort to our Oasis but i guess i need some more outlets. Maybe some Poetic Terrorism in the words of Poet Priest Hakim Bey. http://www.hermetic.com/bey/taz1.html#labelPoeticTerrorism. (Temporary Autonomous Zone can be purchased or downloaded - it is a spoken word cd with the music of Bill Laswell, I highly recommend it. Listening to it has a much more profound effect) http://www.hermetic.com/bey/

Philanthropy is the act of donating money, goods, time, or effort to support a charitable cause, usually over an extended period of time and in regard to a defined objective. In a more fundamental sense, philanthropy may encompass any altruistic activity which is intended to promote good or improve human quality of life. -Wikipedia

Cultivate, Cultivate, Cultivate!!!

Magickal Times

2008-04-15T02:58:20Z

The past week has left me joyous and yes a bit sad that it is all over. The Three Days of the Writing of the The Book of the Law were truly beautiful as we celebrated a reading of each chapter followed by Mass and a Feast. We loved, we laughed, we got drunk. I truly appreciate times like these, for nothing is greater than intellectual and magickal stimulation of the Mind. I took off work for most of the week and told my job that I was having a family reunion, this was not a tale, as my Brothers and Sisters are truly my family. Although not in the words of the Master Himself but these old song lyrics play in my head

“Three days was the morning. My focus three days old. My head, it landed to the sounds of cricket bows… I am proud man anyway… Covered now by three days… Three ways was the morning. Three lovers, in three ways. We knew when she landed, three days she’d stay” - Janes Addiction

Saturday was also a magickal day for us here at Heru Behutet Oasis as we had Tau Marie in town to present an EGC Workshop (as well as Priestess for Ra Hoor Khuit with Mesinu – wonderful job by the way). I was very impressed with her enthusiasm and expressive talents, she is an amazing woman and I hope to see her again someday. She presented a great presentation on the role of women in the O.T.O. Being a woman and somewhat of a feminist it was very refreshing. She did a wonderful job explaining the Magickal Model in relation to the feminine as well as give credit to the many women of our magickal heritage.

We ended the evening with Liber 963 Treasure House of Images. Each of us played one of the astrological signs (most of us our rising sign some our Sun) through each of the 12 Houses. It was poetry at its finest. I would suggest that anyone who attempts this ritual to start it early!!!

Many thanks for all who came - local and out of town. It was nice seeing new faces as well as old. Only 358 more days.